Be a ‘befriender’ and ease senior loneliness during the holidays

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Link to article in Faribault Daily News

Guest Column by Deb Taylor

The senior advocate and her legal advisor stood silent in Winifred’s small bedroom. The elderly resident, recently deceased, had bequeathed her modest house to the senior organization she dearly loved.

Winifred had lived alone for years, with no relatives in town. Her main social contacts had been the postal carrier and UPS guy. She was lonely and isolated, and felt its caustic grip on her soul. Despair seemed to be her most frequent companion.

Then, Winifred discovered the senior program that became the cornerstone of her life. She felt joy again. Rather than waiting to die, she began to live again. She loved the trips, the activities, and the many friends she made in the final few years of her life.

Now, standing in her small bedroom, the senior advocate and legal advisor looked beyond Winifred’s simple bed and dresser. The elderly woman had few possessions, and most of the walls were bare. But, their eyes were drawn to one bedroom wall, literally covered with the name tags the woman had worn at the many senior events she’d attended over the years. Her ‘wall of joy’ had been the last thing she saw at bedtime and the first thing she saw in the mornings.

Eyes glistened with tears as the visitors realized the importance of their senior program for this dear, sweet woman.

Enduring life or enjoying it?

Isolation and loneliness comprise a terrible truth for thousands of Minnesota seniors. The lack of social interaction scars what should be the ‘golden years,’ a relaxing time to enjoy engaging activities with friends and loved ones. According to one study, 10 percent of seniors described themselves as often or always lonely. Four-in-10 said their pet or television was their main form of company. Their circumstance makes them more vulnerable to sickness and disease. Depression among seniors is widespread and most often occurs in context with physical and psychosocial problems that beset this population.

Be a befriender

This holiday season, I encourage you to befriend an older adult. It may be someone from down the block, a senior you know at church, or a relative you see infrequently due to a busy schedule. A conversation or visit with him or her will offer clues to their well-being status. Be an encourager and help them to connect with a nearby senior center. Your simple kindness may be the first step to a healthier, more vital and joyful life for them.

Senior centers, found throughout Minnesota, accommodate seniors who want to fellowship with friends, dine together, play cards, enjoy book clubs and take trips to shop or attend museums and ballgames. For Greater Minnesota seniors, your Yellow Pages will direct you to a senior program near you, or check with any church or retirement community for guidance.

You can help strengthen our communities by extending an old-fashioned sense of neighborliness, checking on and befriending the older adults and neighbors around you. And what a great New Year’s resolution this would make.

Together, let’s Reimagine Aging and ensure happier, more meaningful, lives for our oldest loved ones and friends so they feel welcomed, loved, and encouraged.