Here are a few helpful hints for caregivers during this busy holiday season. At first glance, the tips may seem simple but we often become so caught up in the busyness of life that we need a gentle reminder to get back on track.
1. Identify What Is Important to You and Your Family
Set realistic expectations-Speak with your family
A lot of disappointment can be averted by everyone starting on the same page. Openly discuss time limitations and other barriers. Identify what is important to each member of the family.
Pare down traditions-Change is Ok
Just because you have baked 12 different kinds of cookies in years past does not mean you need to do so this year; or maybe holiday decorating needs to be scaled back. As a family, identify a few favorite traditions and focus on these.
Adapt celebrations according to needs
Consider what type of celebration best meets the needs of those you will be spending time with. For example, are large crowds a concern? For those with hearing impairments or behavior problems associated with dementia, large groups with a great deal of noise may not be the best choice. Perhaps a small gathering would be better. It may be helpful to consider the time of day a family gathering is to take place. Is there a time when your loved one is more alert?
2. Make a To Do List
Organize
Strategizing and planning ahead saves time and energy. Try to incorporate numerous tasks into one trip when possible.
Delegate
Preparing a list ahead of time allows you to have family or friends pick up items for you when they are out running their own errands.
3. Ask for Help
Present the Need (Family and Friends)
Family and friends are, more often than not, very willing to help. They just may not know what to do. Do not be afraid to ask for help and give direction. For example, “Mom has required more help lately and I have been spending extra time at her place. Would you be able to pick the kids up from school tonight?” Or if a friend offers to prepare a meal for your family, graciously accept.
Professional Staff
Trust the professional staff working with your loved one. Let them help carry the load! Perhaps your loved one lives at an assisted living or skilled nursing facility; allow yourself the freedom to step back from always being present at the facility.
4. Give Yourself a Break
- Take care of yourself physically-Eat a healthy diet, take time to exercise and get adequate
- Take care of yourself emotionally-Be aware of feelings (guilt, anger, frustration)
- Take time to attend to your spiritual needs. This can be a source of strength and renewal.
- Respite
1. Family/Friends
Arrange for a friend or family member to sit with your loved one for a short time enabling you to get away for a cup of coffee with a friend, participate in a leisure activity or attend a caregiver support group.
2. Structured Programs
Work with a home care agency to arrange for a friendly visitor or volunteer to stay with your loved one for a short period of time on a regular basis. Consider Adult Day Services. Adult Day Programs offer a wonderful break from the daily responsibilities of care giving as well as providing your loved one with socialization.
These are just a few “basics” to bring back balance in life. Remember, the best gift you can give to your loved one is a Happy and Healthy YOU!
Happy Holidays!
Lisa Engdahl
Lisa Engdahl is a Licensed Social Worker with the Senior Outreach and Caregiver Services program at Senior Community Services. More information on the program can be found at http://seniorcommunity.org/programs/senior-outreach-caregiver-services/.
