Guest Column Submission
By Deb Taylor
588 words
Barbara was feeling overwhelmed. In her mid-50s, she didn’t realize there would be so many challenges caregiving for her mother and stepfather in their later years. Barb’s mother, Carla, is experiencing serious memory challenges with Alzheimer’s disease, and has begun to wander if left alone. Barb’s stepfather, Paul, is Carla’s daily caregiver, but he suffers from thyroid disease, double vision, high blood pressure, and arthritic knees and hips. He tires easily and needs a break from his caregiving duties so he can recharge with daily walks and weekly breakfast out with a friend.
“I feel so overwhelmed,” Barb explains. “The caregiving is unrelenting. The need is constant, and there’s only so much of me to go around. I want Mom and Dad to have a fulfilling, dignified life together, but it’s a real struggle. On top of the shopping, cooking and medical needs, their windows need cleaning and the leaves need raking. I’m out of steam,” Barb exclaims.
What to do?
Barb discovered Senior Community Services, which provides many services to help Minnesota’s older adults and their caregivers maintain independence. A social worker with the Senior Outreach and Caregiver Services program visited the family to fully understand their needs and start identifying some trusted, affordable resources. Soon, the entire family attended Caregiver Education sessions to learn about care needs, legal and financial issues. They learned about Alzheimer’s disease, and Barb and her siblings now share a weekend rotation to help their father with Mom’s care. A respite volunteer gives Paul time to take his walks and meet with friends. And when he had hip surgery, Carla attended an Adult Day program to keep her occupied and socially engaged during the weekdays. The social worker convinced the couple’s long-term-care insurer to finally pay for some supportive services. When Paul’s vision worsened, the Senior Community Services staff member found transportation for them. And, window-washing, leaf-raking and snow removal chores were handled through the HOME program (Household & Outside Maintenance for Elderly).
Barb calls their social worker the family’s life coach. “She helped us develop a care plan that truly works. She’s a lifesaver.”
Barb, her siblings and parents are more settled and content now. “Senior Community Services really helped us,” Barb says. “We simply could not continue going at the pace we were going. Thanks to all of the help and expertise, our family can now better enjoy this time together, rather than being overwhelmed and exhausted all the time.”
Paul, at age 80, says he didn’t think life could get better, but it has. “I’m not ready to give up my independence. It’s nice to know we can get help for those things that are getting more challenging to handle on my own, and that I don’t have to rely solely on family to help us maintain our independence.”
Across Minnesota, more than 90 percent of senior care is provided by family and friends. Eventually, however, love is not enough; caregivers may grow exhausted and overwhelmed, often jeopardizing their own health.
Minnetonka-based Senior Community Services, and its more than 300 partner agencies, help make the later years less stressful, enabling independence for older adults who are not yet ready to trade their long-time home for a more structured senior care setting.
Join us as we Reimagine Aging for Minnesota’s generations.
Deb Taylor is CEO of Senior Community Services (www.seniorcommunity.org) and its Reimagine Aging Institute, a nonprofit that advocates for older adults and helps seniors and caregivers maintain their independence through free or low-cost services.
